By Rebekah Scanlan, News.com.au
(MAINNEWS) – Two married couples who live and raise their families together — and even swap partners — have opened up about life as a “foursome.”
Alysia and Tyler Rogers were already parents to two children, now ages 7 and 8, when they embarked on a romantic relationship with married friends Sean and Taya Hartless.
The couples, originally from the US, moved in together as a polyamorous foursome in 2020 and the following year, Alysia and Taya delivered babies seven months apart.
Neither woman knows who biologically fathered the kids, with Alysia maintaining they will help the children discover that down the road if they ever want to.
“We wanted to do everything we could to make sure that everybody feels like an equal parent,” Taya told Today.com recently.
“At this point, finding out their genetics would change nothing.”
The family of eight now live in Lebanon, Oregon and have amassed a huge social media following with their “big family” — and regularly share videos documenting how the unusual set-up works behind closed doors.
“We didn’t intend to fall in love … but here we are,” the quad, who goes by the handle @polyfamory online, explained on Instagram.
“When we met, we were just looking for something simple and physical, but when we all met each other, we just started to fall in love.”
In one clip, the men explained they switch beds every other night and are not in a relationship with each other — only with the women.
In another video, the foursome shared their unusual sleeping arrangements.
As a result, the group identifies as a “closed polyfidelitous quad,” meaning they “don’t typically date outside of the four,” describing their dynamic as “quite literally a square.”
“We have two master bedrooms on the opposite ends of the house,” they said.
“And the guys switch between rooms every night.”
Some fans have described the bedroom situation as “confusing,” while others thought it sounded “ideal.”
The open couples aren’t immune from regular emotions in their relationship and have been candid about their joint struggles.
“In the beginning, before we established trust, we had a few issues with jealousy in hard times,” one Instagram post explained.
“But now it’s all hands on deck to support that person.
“There’s four different people with four different strengths when it comes to meeting needs.
“That really comes in handy.”
Despite amassing a loyal following of 120,000 on TikTok and another 30,000 on Instagram, the foursome admits they do receive nasty remarks about their unorthodox relationship.
The four have been accused of being “bad parents” by some, though Tyler and Alysia’s existing two children have been very comfortable with the change in their family dynamic.
“Our kids already knew we were dating Sean and Taya,” Alysia told Today.com.
“We told them: ‘You know Mum has a boyfriend and Dad has a girlfriend and we’re going to move in together. And we’re all going to be a big family and they’re going to help parent you.
“So we’re going to need you to treat them like you treat us — like parents.’”
The foursome previously revealed they faced “pushback” from some close friends and family, but the majority of their inner circle supported their decision.
“A lot of people don’t really understand polyamory and think it is deviant or unwholesome in some way. It is true that it wasn’t always easy — it took me a while to admit I had feelings for someone else — and we definitely do get jealous sometimes,” Taya said.
“But now it’s so natural to us all and I feel so grateful to have multiple partners to raise children with,” she said. “Why wouldn’t you want more love and support and more hands around? It’s a messy, hectic, crazy, wonderful life and I can’t think of anything else we could ever want.”
Like all relationships, Taya said navigating an unconventional relationship can be a tricky but worthwhile process.
“I don’t think we’ll ever stop learning and we know our relationship will be constantly changing. But we will roll with the punches and make it work,” Taya said.
“We are different from everyone else, but that’s OK — and we have made it clear to our children that they can be whoever they want to be.”