By Ben Cost
It was a crab-pocalyptic discovery.
Crab stick fans are swearing off the savory accoutrement after a revolting video surfaced showing exactly how these faux seafood treats are made.
A Reddit post detailing the process is currently eliciting gags as disillusioned fans analogize the imitation crustacean to a “fish hotdog.”
“Surimi crab sticks are hygienically made using pure tender meat and natural pigment,” reads the description on the longer version of the video on YouTube.
In the revelatory, filmed at the world’s largest crab stick processing plant in Thailand, crab counterfeiters can be seen shoving white, cocaine-like bricks of frozen fish meat into a shredding machine.
These are then mulched up and transferred to another contraption and blended with salt and egg white.
Then, a giant rotating crisp pulverizes the ingredients into a beige sludge like some kind of bizarro confection from “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.”
This is then mechanically molded into a long noodle that’s cocooned with its signature traffic cone orange coating.
For the uninitiated, this casing is dyed surimi, a multifaceted fish or meat paste that comes in various shapes and textures and can be used to approximate everything from eel to, well, crab a la a gourmet shapeshifter.
At long last, the crab sticks are cocooned in plastic and frozen.
Finally, the fish, er, crab sticks are packaged by employees and prepped for distribution on the floor of the facility, which reportedly manufactures 40,000 tons of this crab from concentrate per year, and purveys it to 37 countries around the world.
The behind-the-scenes look didn’t sit well with viewers.
“So basically fish hotdogs,” said another.
One flabbergasted commenter exclaimed, “The only ingredient I could identify was the ice.”
“Everything ok hun? You’ve hardly touched your grey,” quipped one social media comedian, mocking the arti-fish-ial ingredients.
In October, revolting footage showing the creation of McDonald’s iconic McRib burger had customers vowing to never order the item again.
And it’s not just ingredient reveals that is blowing people’s minds: Internet gourmands had their world turned upside down after they learned just what the acronym SPAM, referring to the ubiquitous canned pork patty, stands for.